7 Secrets to Happiness


According to Isadora Duncan,Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences’ -. Similarly, I would say, any human that reads the life contract and still decide to live, deserves all the consequences. Unfortunately, life doesn’t afford us the opportunity to read the conditions or know the benefits and hazards of coming to the earth, so we could make an informed decision whether to live, or remain in the other world. 

Therefore, we arrive on earth and choose how we want to live. We never had the opportunity to choose a wealthy parent, or be born in a city instead of the village. Also, we had no choice of choosing a developed country over a developing country; though all these one way or the other affects the chances of finally making it, however, making it in life is still solely on the actions and inactions of a man.

Therefore, in order to live a successful, happiness-filled, and fulfilled life,  there are seven secrets of Happiness you must know in order to remain happy through the days of your life; they will guide you and make your happiness stand a longer time you could imagine. There are very important seven secrets of Happiness we must have in order to remain happy through the days of our life. There are more than a billion activities that happen before one turns his back on this earth and the most important part is if we were happy while alive and how many did we make happy before we leave for the great beyond. Few of the ways to make life bearable and interesting to pass through are;

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#1 Make peace with your past so it does not affect your present
‘It is extremely important that you show some insensitivity to your past in order to show the proper respect for the future’ - Roberto Goizueta. Everyone has got a past. We all have that part that makes us happy or sad. We all have that story we always wish to remember or wish it never came to our heart again. The past that are most difficult to forget are the ones we caused for ourselves. ‘Most of the troubles of a man are the ones he created for himself’. This is the part we cry through the years and wish we could rewind the hands of time so we can make proper decisions. Unfortunately, the past has slipped from our hands and the future is the only thing we could influence.  

Therefore, look beyond your past. Whether you have been successful in the past or the opposite, overlook it and start afresh. Let the past remain in the past. Whether in business, relationship, family, economy, friendship, let the past deal with itself. To learn more on this particular point, please check this article, ‘3 Things that must not control your Life. Face your present and maximize the opportunities in it. Your present would soon be your past, so take care of it so you will never regret it. ‘The past is a rich resource on which we can draw in order to make decisions for the future, but it does not dictate our choices. We should look back at the past and select what is good, and leave behind what is bad’ - Nelson Mandela

#2 What others think of you is none of your business
‘Whatever you think of yourself is what matters’. Humans have different opinion about everything in life. In fact, everybody has one thing to say about a particular thing. The question is how people opinion affects you. Do you let people’s words get to you. Always remember, the opinion of people about you is only important to them and not to you. Their words remain their own, and it is based on the perspective or side of you they are able to see. What happened to the perspective they are not able to see

Therefore, sieve what people say about you, the good ones should encourage you to do more and achieve more, the bad comments should challenge you to break bonds and barriers. Never let every stone thrown by mischief makers get to you, it would only weigh you down. You can watch ‘White Waters’, ‘3 Idiots’, and ‘Like Stars on Earth, for this purpose. You can check this article ‘3 Things that must never control your life, for proper understanding of this point.

‘If by the people you understand the multitude, the hoi polloi, 'tis no matter what they think; they are sometimes in the right, sometimes in the wrong; their judgement is a mere lottery’ - John Dryden  

#3 Time heals almost everything, give it time
What else could make us unhappy than the things we have no power over. There are relationships we wished never ended, there are partners we wished never left, there are deaths we wish we could prevent, there are decisions we wish we took at a particular time and we didn’t do or achieve; this brings about regrets, they refused to leave, they even haunt us to the marrow and make us weak most of the time. 

The only way to get over them is to allow time crush them for us when we could have tried our best. We have used different methods and strategies, even met counselors and psychologists, all to no avail. Well, the good news is that Time could get rid of them for you. You can check up this article ‘How to buy Time. It will help and guide you to let the pains flush away with time. Always be patient with yourself.

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#4 Don’t compare your life to others and don’t judge them. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
Viru in the film 3 Idiots once said, 'All is fair in love and war'. We sometimes start to judge the things that happen to us and think others don't pass through half of what we pass through because we see them smiling or using a good car or living in a modest house. Well, the far away truth is that everyone has got his own problem. We might not show what we are currently facing to the hypocritical world that criticizes us for our decisions, but definitely there is that one thing that makes us unhappy. 

Never wish for the problems or joy of others, you don't know what it is laced with or the source of their joy. Their source of happiness might be so costly that you cannot afford it. Aren't you surprised riches can't buy life and cancer took away one of the richest men ever known, Steve Jobs. Know what you wish for, never envy other people's successes and never judge them. Just like how you don't know what they are passing through, so also they don't know what you are passing through. You can read this article The Mirror and Mirage of Life for elaborate knowledge on this point. 

#5 It is alright not to know all the answers. They will come when you least expect them.
According to John Dewey, ‘We do not solve them: we get over them’ The most painful part of this life are the answers we never had for the death of our loved ones. This circumstance has most times defied logic. How do people so dear to us, wife, husband, child, parent, friend, boss and so on die without even a goodbye so we can prepare for their demise. No reasonable or suitable answer and we are left to mourn over them for a long time, before we luckily forget them after all. This simply indicates that not everything in life can be explained.  

In fact, a lot of questions are begging for answers. For those you are not able to provide answers too, worry not over them, do not fret, their answers may not be ready, but it would come. I have come to a moment where I had broken relationships with the best partners I could ever imagine, I wonder what took them away, we hardly quarrel or had issues for years, we were very fine, and just one way or the other, the relationship is over. I questioned the rationality behind it for years, and about four years later, got my satisfying answers to the questions of why we could not be together anymore.

Give situations time, don’t force out answers, they will come out when they are ready, especially when you were not even thinking about it, and before you know it, all your doubts would be cleared.

#6 You are in charge of your happiness
According to Alexander Solzhenitsy, ‘A man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy and nothing can stop him’. No man can live outside happiness; else, life would be miserable. How much more to wake and discover you have little to worry about; your own family is doing very fine and very happy. This is enough reason to make one happy. Truly, things outside our domain and control influence our happiness one way or the other, the outside world has a share of our level of happiness, they may not solely determine it, yet happiness is what we can’t afford to lose. 

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Happiness is a good bank account, a good cook, a good digestion’. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau. No man wants to be without happiness; however, your happiness is solely your own responsibility. Nobody is saddled with the responsibility to make you happy. If you don’t learn how to encourage yourself and make yourself happy despite what is done to you by people, then you are not matured enough to be on your own. People will intentionally frustrate you, they will want you to fall and be sad, but it is left to you to overlook their stupidity, encourage yourself and move on.

#7 Smile; you don’t own all the problems in the world
There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountain tops of our desires’.  - Nelson Mandela. No one gets freedom free of charge. The Holy Bible says, ‘The days of a man are short and are full of trouble’. That is just the bitter truth; you would face problems before you get to the top you are targeting. 

You can check this article Sacrifice: What you must lose to win for elaborate knowledge on this. Despite our troubles, as much as they can be, we are still learners beside some people. We would have to see some people’s problem and never wish to be in their shoes. This then should actually make us smile sometimes despite our troubles. We are not carrying the burden of the whole world, so we should not live as if we are the only ones in problems.

‘If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome’ - Anne Bradstreet. The troubles and problems are just there to strengthen us and we should not see them as setbacks or stopovers, rather, they are steps we have to painstakingly climb to get to the pinnacle of our career. See them as such, smile at them and face them head on. 

Never run away from them, because they would always be there waiting for you. Just laugh, smile and conquer them in whatever way you can. The success after that belongs to you. ‘Adversity is the foundation of virtue’. Therefore, face whatever comes your way and move on.

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